Wow. I watched a double bypass surgery today. I want to write about it, but I’m still a little in shock.
Archive for the ‘1’ Category
So here is my first consistent attempt at cooking.
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- Milk, Apple, Microwave Dinner, Sugar and Egg? in water.
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- Apple, Cold Noodles with Zha Cai and Beef, Tea
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- Apple, Tea, and Ramen with Eggs
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- Green Beans with Egg and Chicken, Beef, White Rice, and Water
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- Fried Rice with Green Beans, Beef, Soup from a freakin can
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- Ramen with Eggs, Peach, Water
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- Beef, Fried Rice with Green Beans, and Tea
Because the summer is long, and I am hungry.
In elementary school, I thought to myself “I’m becoming stupider”. I reached this conclusion after struggling through some puzzle, math question, or word problem. I don’t remember exactly what it was, but I remember clearly thinking that this was something I could do easily before – but now struggled with. I was shocked, scared into a cold sweat. I had read a book, fiction, probably Flowers for Algernon or Ender’s Game, from which I was left with the distinct conclusion that the peak of intelligence was somewhere in childhood.
I spent the next few months muttering “9 x 9 = 81, T-O-R-N-A-D-O” whenever I had some free time (even when in the restroom), hoping that repeatedly muttering “hard” math and spelling big words could slow this decline. In middle school, this became “17 x 17 = 289, H-U-R-R-I-C-A-N-E”, but in the back of my mind, my nagging fear stayed. As a kid, I had unjustified sense of pride in my intelligence. I was never the fastest kid; never the most eloquent or persuasive. I had horrible studying habits – everyday after school, up till eighth grade, I would watch TV from the moment I got home until the second I heard my parent’s car pulling up into the driveway.
Yet often this was enough. In the time my mom made dinner, I could finish my homework and study for tests. I could make the grade and I had a false sense of pride in this. I was prideful, looking down on the other kids that spent so much more work only to produce the same results. Although I maintained a humble facade, in my mind, I emphasized with the unpleasant kid in the back, boasting how little effort it took to get an A. How ironic, considering that in the back of my mind, I was worried about getting stupider. Misplaced pride on what was, in reality, a shortcoming.
Looking back, my standards were never the highest. In many subjects, I never had a true love of the subject and as a result, did the minimum. In high school, I tried to change. I was nothing special. (I think David Neville really stood out when I was there. Haha) I diversified my interests, doing not simply what I was good at, but what I was interested in. My interest in politics lead me to pursue policy debate. I loved it. From heated discussions to learning a more global perspective, I was really passionate about policy. I really liked my 10th grade chemistry teacher, and I tried my hand at chemistry research. I haven’t made any big explosions yet – so I think I did alright there. I really liked choosing classes and thinking about the future – registration time was always a fun time, I made spreadsheets to maximize my interests with interesting teachers and cool classes. I schemed to get past boring pre-reqs and create the “perfect” schedule. This trivial interest lead me to become a senior mentor at TAMS, sharing my perspective on teachers and helping juniors choose classes.
Hindsight is 20/20, but I wish I was more social, more friendly, more caring. In college, I hope I can further develop my interests. With so much free time, I hope I can do something great. Change the world a little bit. I want to be bolder. To be friendlier. To have classes where I am truly engaged. To get to know God better. And, maybe, learn to talk to girls better. 
Intelligence truly pales in comparsion to everything else. Name me one person known for their intelligence, and I will name you 5 people known for their compassion, 5 for their luck, 5 for their charisma, and 5 for their hard-work.
Reflection
I’ve always been amazed by how really successful people are driven by what seems like an indescribable and unstoppable sense of determination and drive. I’m impressed by how the researchers I know are willing to devote so much time, dedication, and passion into their work. I hoped one day I might be able to have the same passion and love for a subject, career, or project.
But wow. I think I’ve found something to passionate about. I’m so excited I can’t sleep right now. Maybe, just maybe, I’ve finally found what I want to devote my life’s work to. God willing.
Synthetic Biology.
Ugh. Why does so many clubs at Rice like to have lunch meetings? Don’t they realize that the food and loud noises of the cafeteria are complete distractions. I would much rather a focused and concise meeting some other time. Also, I like to talk to people during lunch! It looks like I have lunch meetings every day of the week this semester.
Lunch Meetings
I’ve noticed that too many of my prayers have been filled with selfish hopes, requests, and desires. I want to do well on tests, I want to get into some program, etc. Too much is of me asking God to do something for me, when it should be the other way around – hoping that I can do something for God. It’s sad that it comes naturally to me to think about and focus on what I want and hope for. This isn’t good. My Goal: From now till the end of the semester, my prayers will be nothing but praises. I ask nothing, but to be a better Christian.
In high school, I was a debate junkie – living for the continuous rush of adrenalin that are debate tournaments. My idle daydreams were of great rebuttals, my scribbles were random outrageous blocks. Mondays were always days of reminiscence; Fridays’ and Saturdays’ pivotal speeches replayed in my mind endlessly. I admired a lot of people in debate. From my debate coach to the older students, I had so many people to learn from. Their mastery of language was something I wished I could imitate.
Ultimately, thats why I loved debate. It’s language.These simple sounds bring forth thus strong feelings. From persuasion to inspiration, language is majestic. It transfers wisdom, shares emotions, and changes the world. Listening to and reading transcriptions of commencement speeches
(such as http://news-service.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html and http://www.paulgraham.com/hs.html),
I am filled with hope for the future and for my life. The delivery, the message, and the word choice all come together to change my outlook in life. A picture is not worth a thousand words. How many pictures do you know can represent true love? How many pictures have you seen describe salvation? Words are powerful in that they can represent what is not yet to be. It drives the imagination to create and drives the mind to think. Pictures can only show what already is. Words create worlds. Pictures, by essence, are only reactionary, recording what already is. I encourage you to read them! So good!
The After:
The Written Word.
Orgo and Cell Bio Tests this week! WOOT!
These two courses always have tests back-to-back. I guess there are up-sides and down-sides to these two courses being paired up like this.
Downsides:
So much material, so little time.
10 – x hours between the two tests, x being the number of hours of sleep I get.
Upsides:
IDK
Haha, anyways I am done! Now I just have my engineering mechanics test friday and I can continue revising my goldwater/debakey apps. Good things that happened this week. 1. Finally got my paycheck for working for Demidec this summer. My first paycheck, milestone, no? 2. I’m finally taller than my dad. Everyone is generally taller than their parents (better nutrition, environment, etc) but for me, before a few weeks ago, this wasn’t true. I went back home this weekend, and my mom commented how she thought I grew a little taller at Rice. I leaned against the wall and measured, wala! I’m now taller than my dad. By just a little.
Weekend Back Home
Today was one of the best afternoons I’ve had since coming to Rice. I couldn’t stop smiling walking back to my dorm. After a short nap, I walked to the Mitchell (Basic Science Research Building) in the Medical Center. I got rather lost looking for the building, so I got a ride from a police officer. At Mitchell, I talked to my Cell Biology teacher (she’s so cool!) – I am trying to apply to the Debakey Summer Surgery Program. It looks like a pretty amazing program. After that, I once again went to Ben Taub (volunteering at the Emergency Center). As always, volunteering there is amazingly eye-opening. Realistically, I don’t do anything substantial, only moving people, papers, and specimen, but I really like being there, able to get a better glimpse of doctors in action. Without going into much detail, I can only reaffirm that I think doctors are the most amazingly interesting and intelligent group of people I know.
Adventure!
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