Time Lapse

In Uncategorized on October 7, 2012 by David

It’s strange to turn back and look at the distance traveled. It’s been five years since I graduated from high school, and it’s just uncanny to see both how much and how little people have changed. Last night was another brohaus party and it was fun to see so many of the TAMSters again.

In so many ways, people are the same. Paul is still loud and Deepyaman is still quiet. The mannerisms, the voices, and the laughs are still the same. Yet everyone has grown up – gotten more mature and more adult (almost, with Paul as an exception, lol, jk). It’s funny to see the same people who used to play ping pong now use the same balls to play beer pong. But that also shows more maturity – seeing everyone take care of that drunk girl shows responsibility that I could never have imagined five years ago. Ultimately, I think the people I met at TAMS are some of the kindest and most genu
ine people I have ever met.

It was fun to reminisce about past times – I feel like I’m going to become one of those old fogies who enjoy telling stories of past pranks and silly drama. Of when the seniors pulled the fire alarm before the junior’s biology tests or when someone went into our room and put yellow paint over Paul’s desk at night (I still have no idea who did that). It reminded me of so much I had forgotten – of politics in HOPE and silly girls. Guys played computer games and enjoyed TAMS – girls had drama and enjoyed TAMS less.

Seeing everyone made me a little introspective, wondering how I personally have changed. Talking to someone that I didn’t really know in high school, we somehow got to the topic of first impressions. She volunteered the fact that she thought I was arrogant – that she thought I seemed like a nice person back in high school, but after talking to me about careers and stuff for a while yesterday, she thought I was arrogant.

It’s amazing how sometimes the tiniest things stick with you – the whole day today, I couldn’t stop thinking about that. I do not want to want to become a prideful adult. If anything, that was my first and only resolution for third year – to be intentional about change and to remain humble. I think that stuck with me, in part, because I think it’s true. Insults that don’t reflect my true nature means nothing to me, but to hear something that echoes my own fears and worries was something that sticks with me. I too often am too proud of my accomplishments, even though I know I am where I am today due to a combination of serendipity and the support of those who took care of me.

I minimize the challenges that I have already overcome, although I still remember how excruciatingly difficult it is was to apply to medical school and how profoundly disappointed I was when I didn’t get into my goal school. I judge people based on where they went to school and made fun of caribbean medical schools, even though some of the people I most admire and wish to grow into came from humble beginnings. The comment stuck with me because it is true, and I am so very embarrassed. I acted in a way, if it was any other person doing that and I was an onlooker, I would say was arrogant.
I should be humble because I am here only because of grace, of tremendous serendipity, and of supportive family and friends.  I should be humble because the things that matter to me, things like my resume, papers, and projects are, in the long run, meaningless compared to the relationships I build and people I help. I should be humble because I should take credit for the things I do take credit for. I should be humble because whatever talents I have are overshadowed by the many shortcomings that I hide.

I remember when I was applying to medical school thinking that I should not go to a prestigious school, because that would make my head grow bigger, to the point of explosion, and that would outweigh any marginal benefit of better education. I hope I do not prove myself right. I will work on this.


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