Articles

Fears

In Uncategorized on July 13, 2014 by David

I started residency this past month, and while I can tell it is going to an enormously fun and growing experience, I want to put into words my fears. The more I can articulate it, the more I can mediate and avoid it! Residency will be a big part of my life, but I can’t help but think that there are both positives and negatives. Don’t worry – this is only one of a two part series (the second one will be the positives!).

I am afraid that I will get tired.

I am afraid that I won’t find passion in the work I do.

I am afraid of looking stupid.

I am afraid that I will work so hard that when I get breaks or vacations, I won’t know who to turn to hang out.

I am afraid that I will cut corners.

I am afraid that I won’t know who to turn to when I am suffering.

I am afraid that when I look into the mirror, I might see someone I don’t like.

I am afraid that I will lose sight of God.

I am afraid that I will forget how to talk about anything other than medicine.

I am afraid I will get callous.

I am afraid I will kill someone.

I am afraid I will take a patient’s death poorly.

I am afraid I will be lonely.

I am afraid I will be unable to relate to other people and that other people won’t be able to relate to me.

I am afraid that I am investing so much into something that might make me more unlovable.

I am afraid I will continue to step on the escalator to mindlessly apply for more fellowships, accolades, and projects without examining where I want to be in the next few years.

I am afraid I will be unhappy.

 

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